I've been on a fitness kick for, oh, I'd say the last 7 years. One would think that after so much time, it would be a habit and not a kick, right?

That's my thought for today - its interesting how something that occupies so much of your mental energy (occasionally) and time (spent in the gym) can still end up NOT being a habit.

I've been exercising since the day Lindsey decided I was her new guide to the gym. (More on my awesome old roomie later!) Her visual impairment plus her need to train excessively for triathalons led me to my first treadmill. I've gone through periods where the gym was my one triumph every day - I remember a time when I could run for 30 minutes straight at a speed of 5.3 without feeling tired or winded. (Don't hate if you're an awesome runner!) I remember when my body looked good - flat stomach, firm thighs, thin upper arms - and it was enjoyable to maintain my shape at the gym.

I've also gone through periods of extreme stress that render me incapable of succeeding at much - when school or work overwhelms me, I tend to shut down, and the first thing to go is my exercise regimen. If I feel like I've got too many things to do in one day (ie MUST teach, MUST grade papers, MUST plan lesson, MUST work until 1am), I freak out and do as little as possible. Maybe I should explore this bizarre tendency soon...

Anyways, when I was younger, I was able to eat all the BBQ chips and drink all the Dr. Pepper I wanted without looking like I had. Minimal gym time was required to still look decent. Now, however, I'm in my mid-20s, and realizing that not only will a healthier eating regimen boost my energy and overall body wellness, but it is a necessity to weight loss and muscle fitness.

What a cruel lesson to learn, that you can't eat all your favorite foods all the time! What a cruel time to learn it! Health and fitness were never mentioned in my family growing up, and we always ate "good southern cookin'" (read: pinto beans and fatback). My dad was a bean-pole, so I assumed I would be as safe as he was re: thinness.

Not only do I seem to be floundering in the grocery store when it comes to healthy food alternatives, I've found that I don't really LIKE vegetables (maybe because I rarely ate them as a kid?). And someone please shoot me for always reaching for potatoes or wild rice as another pairing to almost any meat/fish! I don't know what I'm doing - I only know that I need to do "it".

Luckily, Rex has decided that he needs to eat healthier, smaller portions and run on a regular basis, too. We're both trying to cut down on soda intake to cut calories, eat filling (not large!) portions, and exercise daily. Its been a big encouragement.

Still, something needs to be done in the way of making this a permanent change. At least one day a week I am horrible and eat chocolate frosted donuts with a giant can of Coke for breakfast (like, today?), or am overwhelmed with the thought of overhauling my ENTIRE food intake or rebel at the thought of completely giving up my sinfully delicious food cravings. Self control is something I've always been lacking, in every area of life... but this is one thing in particular I want victory in! I want to eat a salad before my meal when I go out to eat because its good for me, and not be sad that it makes me not save -room for the main course. I want to choose water over soda more regularly because water makes me feel better (really, it does!) even if it doesn't taste better. I want to willingly limit my sweets and bad-for-you-foods to small portions as treats occasionally because I've learned to like my healthier options just as much.

Ah, now I'm rambling - the point is, I'm not quite sure what it takes to make something a habit, and this "something" is a habit I would dearly love to call my own. I'd like to quit running in circles with my diet and fitness regimen (succeed, crash and burn/fall off the wagon, rinse, repeat) and make them into a lifestyle I can be proud of and (perhaps most importantly) ENJOY.